SUMMER HOLIDAYS
I wither and tear under Italian sun
Toes dipped in chlorine-filled cavities
Tears drying, skin crying
As you look at me
And all my tan insecurities
Apricot kisses all over my neck
One for every late night goodbye
You in the treetops and me in the bed
Heart racing, lungs chasing
For a piece of the sky
And I observe you in silence
Through the cracks of my walls
Hands splayed, lipstick shade
Across the ghost of your chest
Until the weight of your linen
Becomes too much for a fool
So I curl up in sheets
And your white cotton vest
Now the wine tastes just like you
Eroding my teeth
Turning them yellow and wearing them down
A bottle of sorrows to maintain my grief
Blood stinging, room spinning
Whenever you are around
But what can I do
When you sit there with her
Lips framing the end of a cigarette
And I feel my tongue softening
Saliva like glue
With the things that I dream of
Tucked up in my bed
Still I know you’re next door
Fingers laced in her hair
And your lips touching spaces
I wish I could fill
But instead I write poems
My solitude, my lare
In the waves of your violence
It’s a serrated pill
If I live till tomorrow
If my soul doesn’t shatter
Or the creases on my face
Don’t fragment and crack
I’ll walk by your window
Serve my heart on a platter
Nerves twitching, body itching
For my stolen breath back
Yet I know you won’t give it
So I sit there and struggle
With the weight of the world
And your grip round my throat
Until the day I feel worthy
Mind emerged from the rubble
Of the lies which you told me
And the confessions you wrote
See I know I’d be better
Deep down you do too
If the summer stretched out to the ends of the earth
And we could find shelter
In places removed
From the Italian sun
And the loss of my worth
